Mum's the Word
- Kristina Lieu
- Monterey Park
- CHINA
- 18
*Names are not specified for confidentiality purposes My parents and I do not communicate to each other well (partly due to my lack of Cantonese skills and our distant relationship), so I was nervous when I decided to call my mother to ask her about my parents’ early life in China and journey to California. Just talking to my mom on the phone was a strange thought, because our usual conversations are actually small talks about what’s new that happened at college or what I want to eat for dinner. In case the conversation becomes awkward, I had listed ten questions I could ask my mom. When she picked up the phone, I explained that I had to ask her about my parents’ past experiences for an assignment so that the conversation would not be too random.
“What did you and Ba Ba do in China before you two came to the United States?” was my first question on my list. From there, the interview took off. I found myself asking her many more questions that were not on my list, questions that had answers I have always wanted to know. I learned that my parents were born and raised in Canton City, where they both lived in two-story houses and were financially stable. Ba Ba has two sisters and two brothers, and my mom had two brothers and has four sisters. In their hometown, they were primarily students. Ba Ba went to school up to the sixth grade while my mom graduated high school in China.
Ba Ba was only sixteen years old in 1951, when he flew to the United States to attend high school in Los Angeles. However, he was not the first in his family to have immigrated to California. His grandfather was (most likely) a farmer in San Francisco, and his father opened a dry cleaners shop in Santa Monica, at which Ba Ba worked by night while he attended school by day. After living in California for ten years, Ba Ba flew to Hong Kong with the sole purpose of finding a wife.
Meanwhile, my mom was eighteen years old and had moved with her family to Hong Kong, where my parents met, married, and had my sister. Soon after the birth of my sister (less than a year), my mom moved to California to be with Ba Ba. My mom worked at the dry cleaners shop, and when the shop was sold, my parents opened a meat market in Los Angeles. My sister also helped my parents by working at the market during the summer. However, my parents were forced to buy a liquor store in Hacienda Heights when the market was burned down due to the 1992 riots.
I have asked my mother about my parents’ life experiences, but she somehow avoids telling me details about hardships regarding their journey to California. My parents and I already do not talk to each other easily, so I imagined discussing hardships would be ten times as awkward than our usual small talks. This explains why I chose to ask my mom about my parents’ past challenges during a car ride to the mall. I pulled out my notebook and clicked my pen until my nerves calmed down.
From the quick, but inspiring interview, I learned that my parents fortunately did not face too much discrimination. My mom said that when they worked at the dry cleaners, people treated them respectfully. And at the meat market, which was located on Hoover St. in Los Angeles, my parents were not discriminated by the African American-dominated community–– despite the issue over the murder of 15-year-old Latasha Harlins, who was murdered by a Korean grocer, because he believed she was trying to steal a bottle of orange juice.
I was surprised when my mom said that the Africans Americans were able to differentiate Koreans from other Asians, because sometimes even I can't tell them apart. However, a problem that my mom had to overcome was her lack of English skills. She gradually learned to speak English from interacting with customers. I laughed when she said my mom would point to different candy bars that my parents sold in the market and asked my sister (who was pretty young at the time) to tell her what each bar was called. As a side note, my mom is pretty fluent in English now and can write short and basic words in English. Furthermore, she taught me my first Spanish word–– mañana.
POEM: Ba Ba. 73. Mom. 65. First daughter. 48. Second daughter. 18. Grandsons. 9 &10. 10 years at the dry cleaners. 21 years at the market 29 years at the liquor store Decades of non-stop work. For themselves and a kid. And for me. Crawled to another world, to the white man’s land. Overcame fear. language barriers. physical and mental pain. Saved and saved money for my sis and me. So that we understood my homework. So that we never skipped a meal. So that we could get see the doctor. So that they were happy to see us happy. Suffered so that I wouldn't have to. Thank you. I love you too.